Your Relationship with Your Parents Is Often the Beginning of the Heroine’s Journey— A Journey Everyone Walks to Live Authentically —

Maureen Murdock’s

The Heroine’s Journey: Woman’s Quest for Wholeness

describes a profound shift—from a life lived for external approval and social expectations, to a life rooted in remembering who we truly are, trusting our inherent worth, and living from a place of authenticity.

This journey is not only for women.

As our world moves from competition toward harmony and integration, The Heroine’s Journey becomes a guide for many people.

That is why I continue writing this series.

Today, I’ll explore the first three stages:

• Separation from the Feminine

• Identification with the Masculine and gathering of allies

• The Road of Trials: Meeting ogres and dragons

1. Separation from the Feminine Mother–Daughter Dynamics and the First Inner Conflict

The Heroine’s Journey begins with a quiet rejection of “femininity.”

At this stage, the heroine is not aware of what is happening.

But the feminine—softness, intuition, receptivity—is often symbolised by the mother.

Regardless of whether the mother was “good” or “difficult,” every woman experiences some form of tension with her mother.

This is because the mother carries not only her own personality, but also the weight of societal expectations placed on women.

As Joseph Campbell said,

heroes break old structures to create new worlds.

In the Heroine’s Journey,

the “monster” the heroine must face is often the old value system— and this is most visibly projected onto the mother.

The heroine does not yet understand that her anger or rejection is directed toward something much larger than her mother.

She simply feels:

• “I don’t want to be like her.”

• “I don’t want to resemble her.”

This rejection becomes a rejection of being a woman.

The mother archetype has two sides:

• The Great Mother — nurturing, loving

• The Terrible Mother — controlling, overwhelming, or absent

Children absorb both.

And because we cannot yet understand our mother’s history, her struggles, or the era she lived in, we interpret everything personally.

The mother becomes the template for “what it means to be a woman.”

If she seems powerless, the daughter may think:

“Being a woman is a disadvantage. I must not become like her.”

This is where the journey begins.

2. Identification with the Masculine

How the Father (or Father Figure) Shapes the Heroine’s Path

After rejecting the feminine, the heroine turns toward the masculine.

She begins to believe that masculine qualities are the path to success:

• Logic

• Strength

• Independence

• Achievement

• Emotional control

And society rewards her for it.

At this stage, the father’s presence becomes deeply influential.

If the father accepts and encourages his daughter as she is, she develops:

• self‑esteem

• confidence

• a healthy sense of independence

If the father is absent, critical, or emotionally unsafe, the heroine may grow up with:

• low self‑worth

• perfectionism

• emotional instability

• difficulty forming deep connections

The masculine role model she internalises will shape how she navigates the world.

A positive masculine presence becomes what psychologist Linda Leonard calls

“the man with heart”—

a symbol of warmth, strength, intuition, and groundedness.

If such a presence is missing, the heroine may chase success endlessly to fill an inner emptiness.

3. The Road of Trials

Confronting Society’s Expectations

Once the heroine enters the masculine world, she faces the trials of society’s old value systems:

• “Women should rely on others.”

• “A good woman is a good wife and mother.”

• “You must balance everything perfectly.”

• “Emotions are weakness.”

She pushes herself to succeed, even when her true desires whisper something different.

She tries to live like a hero in a world built for heroes, but she is not welcomed in the same way.

She must confront:

• invisible rules

• double standards

• expectations that contradict her inner truth

A key part of this stage is realising:

“My desires are natural. I have the right to choose a life that aligns with me.”

This awareness becomes the beginning of liberation.

My Own Story

How My Grandfather, Mother, and Father Shaped My Journey

For me, the beginning of my Heroine’s Journey was deeply tied to my maternal grandfather.

He was respected in society, but at home, he was very strict and followed the old Japanese way, which is often common Man domination in Asia area.

He criticised my parents behind their backs, and if I did something that didn't meet his expectations, my mother was in trouble.

I felt anger toward him—and toward my mother for not standing up to him.

I decided:

“I will not become like my mother.

I will be strong, independent, and honest.”

At the same time, my father was the one who accepted me as I was.

He supported me quietly, and I felt like we were a team.

Because of this, I grew up liking my father more than my mother.

I tried to be the “good girl,” helping with my sisters, never causing trouble, always performing well.

But the pressure to protect my family made it hard for me to rely on others.

I realised how heavy that burden was only after I left home at 18.

This was the beginning of my Heroine’s Journey.

The Heroine’s Journey and Emotional Healing

Every heroine has her own story.

On the surface, our lives look different, but underneath, the emotions are often the same:

• fear

• longing

• anger

• confusion

• desire for freedom

Reflecting on your life through the lens of the Heroine’s Journey can help you:

• notice emotions you once suppressed

• see your parents with a new understanding

• reconnect with your inner child

• begin the healing you didn’t know you needed

And from that healing, your life begins to shift toward authenticity.